


If I lose myself tonight

by Stardusti



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Gender-Neutral MC, I just love Chiara so much, I want to see her again, Mc werewolf au, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Where Mc gets bitten in the werewolf side quest, just a little, nonbinary Rowan, slightly shippy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 20:50:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16374785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardusti/pseuds/Stardusti
Summary: An AU in which MC gets bitten in the werewolf side quest and how they process it.





	If I lose myself tonight

‘Well, well, well... We ain’t the only ones who came out to catch the full moon.’ 

You gulped, trying not to tremble as you gripped your wand tighter. Cecil on the other hand seemed to have found a burst of courage. 

‘Stand back.’ He shouted as he jumped in front of you aiming at Greyback and the other two werewolves. When he casted the spell that he had taught you earlier you’re not even surprised when it doesn’t work. Greyback laughed, before he ordered the two followers with him to take care of Cecil as he turned to you, a sadistic smile on his face. ‘What say we let the full moon come all the way out.’ 

You had never seen a werewolf shift up until then. Everything about the man that had just been standing in front of you chanced. Everything except the hate in his eye, this only seemed to intensify. You took a step back as Cecil told you that he had everything under control. He pulled out his wand before suddenly bolting away, screaming something about distracting them. The other two werewolves followed him but your attention stayed ahead of you. 

Greyback snared, baring his teeth in what looked like some animistic smile, before he pounced. He was barely in the air before a white werewolf attacked him from the side. Both of them tumbling to the side. 

‘Chiara?!’ Relief flooded you only to quickly be drained away again as Greyback bit her in the shoulder before he flung her to the side. She landed with a yelp of pain before trying, and failing, to get to her feet again. 

Greyback turned back to you and you raised your wand, trying not to show fear. He growled before he suddenly yanked his head to the direction of the forbidden forest. It didn’t take you long to figure out why. A soft howl echoed at the edge of the woods. 

‘Borf.’ You whispered out, panic over taking you. Greyback launched passed you heading to the woods. Without thinking, you bolt after him. He was faster than you are but you were smarter. 

‘Incarcerous!’ He jumped as you shouted the spell, causing the ropes to wrap around his legs. He hit the ground with a thud and you bolted past him into the woods. It didn’t take you long to find the wolf pup. Thanks to Chiara he trusted you and came running towards you once he saw you. You tripped and hit the ground as you tried to stop. He licked you in the face but you didn’t wait long enough to enjoy the reunion. You jumped up, scooping him up in the process, running deeper into the woods. 

You stumble several times as you ran before you stop at a large tree, clutching Borf close to you. It was a trap, you knew it. For one, you had no idea where you were, you had never been in that part of the forest. This was his terrain on the other hand. You were going to die in those woods. 

Your head snapped back as you head something running to you. You looked up at the tree, you could climb it but not while carrying Borf and you doubted that you alone could fight Greyback off with magic. You gulped, excepting you fate as you turned, shielding the pup against whatever was heading towards you. The bushes clear and you hear it stop a few feet ahead of you. 

You waited for him to attack but he didn’t instead there was a gentle nudge to you shoulder. You turned and locked eyes with a pair of blue ones. Chiara. You let out a sigh of relief as she pushed her head under you trembling arm. Borf let out a small yiff, happy to see her. She kept her injured leg in the air but other than that she seemed fine. 

Your happiness was short lived as a howl echoed to your side, quickly followed by three other. Panic sat in. You looked up at the tree again before turning to Chiara. ‘Can you climb?’ 

You hoped that she could understand you. She looked up before taking Borf from you, holding him by the scruff of his neck. The three of you awkwardly made your way up the tree, going as high as you could without making any noise. 

Seconds after you sat down on one of the sturdy branches, Greyback, jumped through the bushes. Growling, smelled the ground and the lifted his snout to the air. He howled before suddenly running in the direction you came. You held your breath. 

You weren’t sure how long you sat there. None of the other werewolves walked past you again, you still kept your guard up. Borf had started to fall asleep and the night had stared to grow cold before you speak for the first time. 

‘We should go.’ Your eyes lingered on the ground, checking to see if it’s safe to go. ‘You and Borf could go to Hagrid, where you’ll be safe. I need to go get help and find out if Cecil is still alive.’ 

You really hoped he was. 

Chiara let out a soft growlish sound before taking Borf by the scruff of his neck again. Getting down the tree was a lot harder than it had been getting up. Once Chiara got down she kept watch was you basically tumbled down. Once both of you were on the ground the real stress began. Chiara was limping and you had Borf with you but the biggest problem was that you wouldn’t be able to run as fast as they could. 

You took a breath and kept your wand out before the three of you made your way out of the woods. You only then realized how far you had run due to how long it took you to see Hogwarts again. As the trees begin to open you could make out Hagrid’s hut. 

‘Almost there.’ You said more to yourself than anyone else. Your illusion of safety was quickly broken however. Chiara just stepped out of the tree line before she stopped suddenly, swinging back to you, looking panicked. It didn’t take you long to understand why. Greyback leapt out from you left side. He shoved you to the side, causing you to tumble to the side. Your wand landing just out of your reach. 

You rolled onto your back only to instantly curl into yourself as it felt like someone had slashed you across your face. Your hand cupped the area on your face, starting just below your nose down to your chin. You felt the blood steam out between your fingers. Greyback snared above you, saliva dripping down from his fangs. 

You closed your eyes, thinking of what to do before you felt him tumble off you. You jolted up and opened your eyes to see Chiara standing between the two of you. The werewolves snapped and snared at each other before they attacked Greyback leaping forward first. 

Your eyes bolted around you as you tried to spot you wand. You caught sight of it in the faint moon light. In an instant you made your way to your feet before you stumbled over to it. You aimed to grab it before there was a loud yelp of pain behind you. You barely had time to process anything before you were knocked to the ground again. Greyback howled behind you as you grabbed your wand and rolled over to your back ready to cast your spell. 

You didn’t get the chance. 

You had experienced a lot of pain in your life. Both physical and emotional but you could honestly say that the feeling you felt then was the second most painful thing to ever happen to you. Second only to when you heard that your bother was gone. 

He latched onto your leg, his teeth sinking into you. He shook his head a little making it feel like he wanted to take your leg off. Your senses seemed to give out altogether. You vision went fuzzy and you could barely hear it when your shill screams echoed through the woods. 

As he pulled back, howling over his victory, your body acted without you realizing. You aimed your wand at him and screamed. ‘Incarcerous!’  
Ropes wrapped around his body as tears and blood streamed down your face. It felt you were being choked and wanted to throw up at the same time. You weren’t sure what had happened after that. 

You kept being pulled in and out of consciousness. At a certain point you had made your way to Chiara. She was lying on the ground and breathing heavily. There was blood on her front legs and ribs. Borf had been curled up at her side, whimpering. You collapsed next to him. Blacking out for the last time that night. 

When you finally come to a day later you were in the hospital wing. You made no sound as your vision started to sort itself out. You weakly turned you head to the side, catching site of Rowan sitting by your bedside. Gripping a book in their hands and clearly holding back tears. 

You croaked out their name and they snapped their head up. The tears started rolling as they shouted your name before awkwardly hugging you, nearly tumbling into the bed. After they had cried their heart out on your shoulder they told you what had happened after you had blacked out. 

Dumbledore had found you and Chiara as well as a tied up Greyback. They had taken Greyback and many of his followers in and you were happy to hear that Cecil was still alive. Dumbledore had brought you and Chiara to the hospital wing where you had been for the last day and a half. 

Once Madam Pomfrey heard that you were awake, she brought you some water and something to eat but you found that you didn’t really have an appetite. For the first time you realized the series of bandages on you face as well as your leg, you completely lost your appetite then. Rowan explained your injuries as you nursed the glass of water. 

‘He had scratched you on your face. You’re going to have three scars down for here to here.’ They used their fingers to show the marks that would stretch from just below your nose, across you lips to your chin, their voice remorseful. 

‘And he… he, um.’ They gulped and you knew what they were trying to say. 

‘Bit me on the leg.’ You choke out before placing the glass of water on the bedside table to get it out of your trembling hands. 

‘I’m sorry.’ They sounded like they wanted to cry again. 

‘Don’t be it’s not your fault.’ You said, trying hard not to cry yourself before they hugged you again. Later when Madam Pomfrey had ushered them out, stating that you needed your rest, you would allow yourself to cry. Silent tears running down your face as you curled up onto yourself. 

You spend a week in the hospital wing with limited access to the outside world. Your friends came to visit as much as they could and you told all of them about what had happened and what you had become. You didn’t say a think about Chiara’s condition and also asked them keep you story to themselves. Bless their hearts because they each tried their best to make you feel better.

Tulip and Tonks told you about how they’ve ruined Filch’s life the last few days. Andre told you that if anyone could pull of facial scars it’s you. Rowan supported you every way that they could and told you that they are hard at work with making the cure that they had promised you. Ben for his part told you that he was not scared of werewolves surprising as it was. He talked to you about everything and nothing, keeping you distracted. Liz and Charlie tried to point out the pros instead of the cons, trying to keep your spirt up. Bill brought you snacks and other random things while spending as much time with you as he could. Penny brewed Wolfsbane like it was going out of style and made it very clear that you would never have to worry about it.

You were so thankful for all of them but still you pretend that there’s nothing wrong. You couldn’t accept that this has happened. You were not cursed not matter what anyone said.

The day before you were set to leave, Dumbledore came to visit. He apologized for not coming sooner but assured you that none of the other students knew about your newly found condition. Only a few teachers did but they would not tell anyone. You asked about Chiara and he assured you that she was fine. You ignored the feeling of anxiety in your stomach. 

You don’t sleep that night. Your mind to all over the place. A sudden noise caused you to snap your attention to the source. You locked eyes with Chiara, seconds later she burst into tears. She spoke so quickly that you barely heard her and then had to spend the next five minutes trying to calm her down enough to hear her. 

‘This is all my fault.’ She sobbed as she sat on the bed next to you and oh how easy it would have been for you to blame her, but just thinking of that brought the image of her blood covered body to mind. A shiver ran up your spine. You comforted her, explaining that it wasn’t her fault and you didn’t blame her. As the two of you sat there comforting each other through your tears, it becomes harder to deny the truth. 

Once you were out of the hospital wing you knew that you’ll never be the same again. There is a slight limp in your step. And the scars on you face were setting in. Cecil excitedly explained to you that you were a hero and it took all of you control not to snap as he talked on about how you put those werewolf scum in their place. Something that you found harder to control than it should have been for the week to come. 

A week later you found it easier to control your temper but you still struggled to sleep. Your mind went wild at night. Thinking about what you could have done to avoid this. Thinking about how you would give just about anything to have this damn curse taken away from you. The fact remains that you can’t. 

A week before the full moon you’re the lowest that you’ve ever been. Dumbledore had planned a second Hallowe’en feast since the first one had been a disaster. Many of the teachers and even the house ghosts told you that you were a great asset to the school and your house. 

Most of the first years lost it when they saw you, telling you what a badass you were. One asked if you were bitten, pointing to your face. You froze but Penny thankfully saved you. Saying thankfully not just scratched. The kids believed you and you wanted to leave, so you do. Penny went with you and then held you while you cried. 

The first time you drank Wolfsbane you nearly threw up. It was for a fact the worst tasting potion that you had ever drank in your life and you have had your fair share of potions. Chiara was with you, drinking her own bottle. You don’t cry anymore. To be honest you don’t do much anymore. 

The day of the full moon you slip into the woods with Chiara just before the sun settled. Borf greeted you at the edge of the forest as Chiara explained to you what to expect. 

‘It’s different for everyone but fighting it makes it hurt.’ She told you as she petted Borf on his head. You remained quiet, not knowing what to say. The moon came up much too early in your opinion and you quickly learned that she was right. You weren’t sure whether you were subconsciously fighting it or not but it still hurt like hell. 

Once it’s done however pain is quickly replaced by the feeling of being overwhelmed. Everything was either too loud or too bright. You let out a whimper curling yourself inwards. You were gently nudged and you turn to see Chiara. She licked you across you muzzle before gently nudging you to your left. You followed her as she led you deeper into the woods. Borf happily barking as he trotted behind you. You spent the rest of the night discovering this new side of you. 

You were tired the next day but surprisingly not bitter. Slowly but surely you started to get back into your life again. You spent a lot of time studying werewolves with your friends, Chiara include. You end up having to write an essay about it in Defense against the dark arts. Your teacher under some illusion that he had been the reason that you all knew the work so well. 

Once your mood lifted, your friends also started to bombard you with questions. Ben for his part proved that he was in fact not scared of werewolves, or at least not you. They sneak out with you one night and they all lost it after you and Chiara shifted, Tonks joking that you were overgrown puppies. 

Penny took longer to warm up to this new side of you but she tried which was remarkable all on its own. She did come around though, and true to her word neither you had to worry about getting your hands of Wolfsbane. The two of you helped her brew it every month and slowly you become accustom to your new life. 

Later that year when you and Chiara wait for the moon to rise, a now adult Borf playing with a stick around you, you found yourself feeling content. 

‘What are you thinking about?’ Chiara asked you as she threw a stick for Borf to chase. You smiled as you stared up at the first few stars in the sky. 

‘Just that… if I lose myself tonight, I’m glad it’s by your side.’ 

She bumped her shoulder against yours and smiled. ‘Same.’


End file.
